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Tips to Becoming More Self-Confident

At some point in our life, there will always be a time where we feel underconfident and insecure. If you are going through that right now, then do not fret, because there are many tried and tested ways to get you feeling unstoppable and powerful once again. Confidence is a tricky one, as it can stem from places outside the self: overly critical parents, negative friends & colleagues, toxic relationships and pessimistic teachers can all lay the foundations for self-doubt and the belief that ‘I am not good enough’. This however is certainly not true and confidence is there for the taking if you are willing to take a step outside your comfort zone and go get it. Imagine how your life would be different if you were more confident in certain areas. You would be happier & healthier, bolder in taking opportunities and less likely to become trapped in relationships that drag you down. Complete confidence every second of the day is unrealistic, but a healthy amount that will help you get comfortable with change or give you the motivation to make a big career move. If this is missing in your life, read on!

  1. Identify what gives you confidence

What gives one person confidence may not work for another, so as individuals we all need to work out what activity or situation usually makes us feel the most confident. Think back to the last time you felt on top of the world and identify why or how you got to feeling that way. Where were you when you felt that good? What were you doing? How did it feel? Which people were with you? Once you identify which factors led you to feeling confident, you will be able to access and re-create this empowering feeling more freely.

  1. Be authentic

Nothing is better for the soul than being authentic and true to yourself. Trying to be like other people is a confidence zapper and will always leave you feeling empty and drained. To build real, sustainable confidence, you need to understand what makes you ‘you’. Although it may not feel like it sometimes, you are unique and special. Finding out who you are and what you value can be liberating, because knowing this will naturally lead to confident self-expression.

  1. Positive thinking and affirmations

Humans have a natural negativity bias which has enabled us to survive for thousands of years. Sometimes though, it can be overly enthusiastic and clog up our brains with negative self-talk and criticisms at how we should’ve performed better or showed ourselves in a better light to a certain person. In order to be confident, this unhelpful negative loop needs to be interrupted with positive thinking and affirmations. For example, counter a negative thought with 5 positive ones and consciously change your inner dialogue to one of kindness and encouragement. Throughout the day also, actively tell yourself you are confident and capable of anything: thoughts turn into actions, so this will soon be reflected in your personality!

  1. Face your fears

A large part of confidence is simply facing the problem head on: identify your fears – give the monster a name – and spend some quality time getting to know it. This fear may be public speaking for example, so spend time imagining what it could be like whilst taking deep, slow breaths. You won’t die, or cause anyone else to die, so this fear you need not be scared of. Conquering fears can take time, but once you start to address them directly, you realise they may not be all that bad and that many people feel what you feel. This will make way for more confidence to shine through!

  1. Stop comparing yourself

A big confidence killer is comparison with others. Whether it is over relationships, career, financial status, happiness or appearance; when you compare yourself to someone, the gap between how you perceive yourself and how you’d like to be is widened. You can guess what the result is – you become less confident. So instead of destroying your self-esteem through scrolling on Instagram and seeing ‘more beautiful’ or ‘more successful’ people (which I can assure you they are not, because social media is fake), focus on your own goals and how far you have come or would like to go. This is your journey and there is no pressure as to how that journey has to look, so do what you feel is best for you.

Remember, confidence is a choice, so cut out the negativity and realise your limitless potential. Be brave and challenge yourself to be confident and go try something new. We are all in it together and no one is perfect, so be kind to yourself and start believing that you are a fantastic, confident human being (because you are!).

November 4, 2021

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